instead of watching the 50 Shades trailer, why not just make awkward eye contact with a total stranger at the grocery store for a solid 2 minutes and 34 seconds? you get the same skin-crawling, uncomfortable feeling but without the shitty writing, terrible acting and massive dose of rape culture
do you ever realize that fictional characters are just successful people’s ocs….
I think about this constantly.
Do not ask me anything about the making of this ok
Wow seriously who brought back this piece of fucking shit I made back in my piece of ficking shit tumblr noob days fucking hell why I hate everyone
tumblrs message system is a bit like messenger pigeons only they’re chickens and you just kind of throw them in the direction of the recipient and hope they find their way
"you’re gonna be home alone for a bit"
this remains the least funniest thing anyone has ever posted on the internet and I want to repost it here so we can reflect on how low humanity can go
it is so unfunny that every time I look at it it actually steals future laughs from things I will later find funny
How baras say hello.
"it looks like they became friends over their muscles"
a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” how is this possible?
omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that
have you ever known somebody so shitty they completely ruin that first name for you?
Fun little trick I learned in therapy: validation. When someone is upset, don’t try to fix the problem, point out the cause, or tell them it could be worse. Just validate their emotions. Be like, ‘shit yeah man, that sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m here for you.’ That’s literally all you have to do to make them feel better. Thank you and goodnight.
i want there to be team locus and team felix shirts
fuck red team and blue team
you’re either team silent and deadly
or team loud and proud
Red, Blue, or Farts. Got it.
okay i was gonna be angry at this but i didn’t realize that’s what i wrote and then i laughed til i choked so you win